My
cat does not barf hairballs |
he
is a floor/rug redecorator |
My
cat does not break things |
she
helps gravity do its job |
My
cat does not fear dogs |
they
are merely sprint practice tools |
My
cat does not gobble |
she
eats with alacrity |
My
cat does not scratch |
he
is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator |
My
cat does not yowl |
he
is singing off-key |
My
cat is not a "shedding machine" |
she
is a hair relocation stylist |
My
cat is not a "treat-seeking missile" |
she
enjoys the proximity of food |
My
cat is not a bed hog |
he
is a mattress appreciator |
My
cat is not a chatterbox |
she
is advising me on what to do next |
My
cat is not a dope addict |
she
is catnip appreciative |
My
cat is not a lap fungus |
he
is bed selective |
My
cat is not a pest |
she
is attention deprived |
My
cat is not a ruthless hunter |
she
is a wildlife control expert |
My
cat is not evil |
she
is badness enhanced |
My
cat is not fat |
he
is mass enhanced |
My
cat is not hydrophobic |
she
has an inability to appreciate moisture |
My
cat is not lazy |
he
is motivationally challenged |
My
cat is not underfoot |
she
is leading me to my next destination
(the food dish!) |
